The art of communication – through the lens of Equanimity

How much ever I wish and hope telepathy to be the official channel of communication, the role of language and active communication cannot be denied in today’s world. We all live together, grow together and it is human interactions that keep us alive. Exchange of ideas, sharing our happiness and sorrows, the feeling of being there for someone and the awareness that there are people who will always be there for you no matter what, these are the things that makes life a joyous ride. We interact with the world on a daily basis but we all know that these interactions are not always happy ones; there are times where we feel distant from the world and even from the people who are closest to us. At times we get the feeling of being misunderstood or even we ourselves face the inability to understand a person who is close to us. One can think, when and how miscommunication and the sense of being distant creep in and where is the misfit?

From my little experience and observation, what we often miss to see is that any interaction is a human interaction first and then the role that person plays in our life steps in. If we are able to see the human being behind that role, we will be in a better position to understand the other person. The problem starts when we see that individual not as who he/she is but rather through what role he/she plays in our life and our construction of the mental image of that person based on expectations. For example, we have the mould of a mother, an individual represents that in our life and while growing up we have been conditioned to the ‘supposed’ qualities of a mother. We forget that this is just a part, a role she plays, its one part of her identity and existence. She is more than that, she is an individual, a human being who comes with her own set of ideas, beliefs and fears and her particular way of dealing with things. Every human being has his own path to walk on and comes with a unique identity that has to be accepted and appreciated and not judged or discarded based on some ideas and expectations. The mould of fixed role-relationships is for our reference and not a survival guide; one should with time develop one’s own ideas and understanding by being more self aware and then interact with the world from ‘that’ space. We should develop the art of human interaction and not one role interacting with another. We should give our expectations a break, and focus on building relationships that are free from expectations and are based on genuine love and empathy. It will improve our living and automatically strengthen our relationships and give us a fulfilling life as we expect nothing and our interactions are based simply on love and care. It will give people space and comfort to express who they are without being compared to or subjected to any prejudices and it will enable inner connections beyond our surface nature. To do this, it is essential to be centered in oneself and what equanimity does is give you the lens to view the situation and the person independent of their role, to see through the covering of relationship and connect to the human being behind that and that’s when the real connection happens. It’s always when we react from our surface nature and are too much in the situation, we simply miss the possibility of a real communication and get lost in the ideas and expectations. Being equanimous helps us see the situation without frills and help us to be able to improve the quality of the communication as we are not impulsive in our reaction but calm and peaceful in our interaction.

Also, another important thing to understand is the source of our expectations and to take any interaction as a window to our inner selves. When we view the situation from a calm state, this in a way shows what we want and helps us understand the why behind our expectations and accelerates our journey of self growth.

Constant practice of being equanimous and working  on improving our very own world view and cultivating an in-depth understanding of our relation with the world around contributes to a large extent and acts as a catalyst to a progressive universe where people interact and engage with a sense of fulfillment without any superficiality to their communication. And that is the world I have always imagined.


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